Wait for Me in Heaven
by Ryuuen Chou
Summary: Nuriko finally lets go of his past. (mild shounen-ai)
1. Wait for Me in Heaven

Wait For Me In Heaven  
By Ryuuen  
  
Warnings: Spoilers.  
A/N: A short, introspective piece from Nuriko's POV.  
  
  
  
Wait For Me In Heaven  
  
Korin.. I promised you I'd never forget you, that you could live through me, but I find my grip on that life slipping. Korin, please help me...! This whole thing is falling apart in my hands. I guess I knew that it would happen eventually, someone would find out and it would all go down from there, but... I guess I didn't want it to happen, so strongly that I began to believe that it wouldn't, that I would never have to become "Ryuuen" ever again...  
I feel it slipping away, Korin.. your life.. and my own. I know that the end of this world is near for me, and when I think about it I realize that I guess my life ended eight years ago, huh? When I became you, I let "Ryuuen" die, but now I find him coming back. Coming back in me, in my actions, my voice, the things I say, my feelings.. yes, my feelings.. specifically for her. I don't know why I never really realized it before, but I suppose that I do love Miaka. But, more than I love her, I want her to be happy, so I won't interfere with her and Tamahome.  
But, seriously, I do feel it coming. Death.  
Korin, I don't want to die, but I suppose it will be alright, if I die for them.. if I die for them, than it's okay, because it'll be for something.. you know what I mean? And I'll get to see you again.. there.. in Heaven.  
Korin, what does dying feel like? Does it hurt much? I hope it didn't hurt much for you.  
I'm crying now, Korin, because I guess that just by saying this I'm admitting that you're dead, and you aren't coming back. And I don't want you to be gone, Korin.. I don't think I know how to live as Ryuuen anymore, so please don't leave me.. don't leave me alone..  
You're gone, aren't you? You are.. Gods, Gods, Korin, please don't.. don't... I don't want to be alone.. anymore.. please..  
I don't want to die, Korin, but I guess it will happen, just.. Korin?  
Please, just do one more thing for me, okay?  
Wait for me, in Heaven...  
  
~*Owari*~ 


	2. Wo Ai Ni demo, sayanora

Wo ai ni.. demo, sayanora  
By Ryuuen  
Sequel to "Wait For Me In Heaven"  
  
A/N: You'd have to read Wait For Me In Heaven to understand what's going on here, and what the heck Nuriko was saying.. ^_~. (Nuriko winking face! Note the mole)  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, angst, spoilers.  
Disclaimer: I have Fushigi Yugi manga volume four now!! But, alas, I do not own Fushigi Yugi itself... unless someone wants to give me Nuriko? I'll settle for a plushie though. Or somewhere I can get one?? Onegai?  
  
  
Wo ai ni... demo, sayanora  
(I love you... but, goodbye)  
  
"Nuriko? What were you sayin' a minute ago?" Tasuki asked, walking up behind the older man, frowning slightly, having heard Nuriko's conversation with himself..  
"Hmm? Nani? Oh, Tasuki-kun. Konnichiwa." Nuriko said, sounding distracted, eyes facing downwards towards the wooden desk he sat at, leaning forward, as though there were something very interesting about either his hands, which were on the desk, or the wood of the desk itself.  
"Nuriko. Answer me." Tasuki said, knowing now that this was serious. Nuriko had been serious in what he had said. "Who were you talking to? Why did you say those things?"  
Nuriko frowned deeply, and Tasuki could see the pain and indecision in those rose-violet depths as the older seishi tried to think of what to say.  
"I was talking to.. to someone I knew.. a very long time ago." Nuriko said after a few moments, and gave a shaky smile. "It's nothing, Tasuki. I'm fine."  
Tasuki recognized the smile for how fake it was and gave the older seishi a stern look. "It's not fuckin' nothin', Nuriko, an' you know it. You were talkin' about dyin', that kinda shit, that ain't nothin'."  
Nuriko glanced up at the former bandit leader, frowning again, eyes pleading with him, begging him silently not to press the matter, but Tasuki didn't like the looks of this. He knew this kind of sadness when he saw it, and knew that unchecked, it could become something... something awful. He had seen it happen.  
Shivering involuntarily, Tasuki faced the older seishi with a glare. "Tell me, Nuriko."  
Nuriko gulped, turned away from Tasuki.  
"I was... talking to my sister.." He managed to say, his voice thick and soft, almost a whisper, and Tasuki realized that he was crying. He reached forward to put his hand on Nuriko's shoulder, but the violet-haired seishi held up a hand, warding him off.  
"Why did you say those things, though? What'd you mean, Nuriko, 'bout 'livin' for Korin' an' all that?" Tasuki asked softly, then fell silent as he waited for the reply.  
"That's why it.. it started." Nuriko said after several moments of silence. "I didn't want her to be gone... so I decided.. that she could live on.. through me.."  
"That's why you started crossdressin'?" Tasuki asked, startled. Nuriko nodded slowly, but didn't turn to Tasuki, didn't really acknowledge his presence except in that nod.  
"I let.. 'Ryuuen' die.." Nuriko said slowly, voice hitching on a small sob, but swallowed hard and continued. "But now.. now I know that.. I have to move on.. but I don't want her to leave me alone, Tasuki, I don't want to be alone, I don't know how to live like Ryuuen anymore, all there is is Korin, and I don't want to be all alone anymore.. I don't want to be alone.."  
Nuriko had turned and was sobbing and clutching at Tasuki, crying into the younger seishi's shirt, his hands curled into fists, gripping the off-white fabric of the shirt and pulling himself up until he was standing and crying into Tasuki's shirt, and Tasuki ackwardly put an arm around the smaller seishi, holding him close as the sobs wracked his thin frame.  
"Shhh.." Tasuki comforted, holding Nuriko as he cried. "You aren't alone, you'll never have to be alone again.. I'm right here, Nuriko, and you've got the others, too. So don't cry, you don't hafta be alone anymore, even if Korin ain't here anymore."  
Nuriko looked up at him with tear-filled rose-violet eyes, shining and full of hope, but also full of pain and broken hearts and dreams. Tasuki wished silently that he could erase the pain and sadness from those eyes forever, just make Nuriko truly happy for once...  
"Arigato.. thank you so much, Tasuki.." Nuriko sobbed, voice muffled by Tasuki's shirt and his close proximity to it.  
"No need ta thank me.." Tasuki said, looking down at the helpless-looking, smaller man in his arms. "But if ya need to learn about being yourself again, maybe I can help ya, if you want, yanno.."  
"Really..?" Those eyes were full of hope again; hope, and something else that Tasuki couldn't place. "You'd do that.. for me?"  
"'Course I would." Tasuki said, smiling slightly, sympathetically, down at his fellow Suzaku seishi. "I said it, didn't I?"  
Nuriko broke away from the embrace and walked to the window, looking up at the stars.  
"Thank you, Tasuki." He said, looking back to the bandit. "Thanks."  
Then he looked back at the sky, and Tasuki could swear he heard him say something.  
"Korin.. at last... wo ai ni.. demo, sayanora.."  
  
~*Owari*~ 


End file.
